How to stop caring what others think of you
It is truly liberating.
There is something in-built within the human race that seeks validation and acceptable of others. You have to break free from this. It is they key to ultimate happiness. Really. I am 16 years old and please before anyone roles their eyes saying “ you know nothing”. While I certainly do not know everything I do not care what people think about me as much as I once did.
There is also a huge difference between caring what people think and worrying. Caring can be beneficial sometimes, it helps us be empathic. Worrying on the other hand is debilitating. It makes us change what we are doing, saying, wearing etc just to please others. It is going above and beyond for other people while harming our own self-worth in the process.
It takes time. I did not just wake up one day and immediately not care and I am also not perfect. Sometimes thoughts creep in and some days I seem too need validation more than others. Its not about magically not caring, while that is amazing, it is not as easy for most of us. It is about consciously making an effort to change your mindset and reliance on others opinions.
Now, enough waffling let me tell you the tips I have learnt in 2020 to stop caring as much…
- Firstly, don’t be too hard on yourself. It is human nature to care. Remember you are doing much better than most just by actively trying to not worry as much.
- You need to realise that people actually do not care as much as you think. People are way too invested in themselves ( we are all pretty selfish in my opinion) to care about what you are wearing or posting on instagram.
- 3. Have a clear idea of who you want. Write about who that person is. Does that version of you ignore everybody who just gives off bad vibes? do they tell it how it is? do they have a certain goal they want to achieve? zone in on this version of you and never forget them. That person would not care about others opinions.
- Nothing really matters. Seriously not to scare you but the earth and potentially the universe will one day cease to exist. It doesn’t matter what that popular girl at school thinks about your dirty trainers.
- You’ve properly heard this one before, if they care about what you’re doing (which they most likely don’t) they are jealous and insecure. People like this will always find something to pick you apart for no matter what you’re doing. You cannot please everybody. Focus on pleasing yourself.
- It is also important to do some ‘self-discovery’ to Identify where your own approval-seeking comes from. This may be difficult and you may need to look back into your past but once you know where it started it will be easier to tackle it. For many people their people- pleasing mentality stems from childhood.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, I hope it helps even one person :)